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BETTER, not Bitter

Your next #relationship, occupation, dream, your next YOU, deserves a #BETTER you.

Present your new next with BETTER, not bitter.

Ruth 2:2 And Ruth the Moabite said to Naomi, “Let me go to the fields and pick up the leftover grain behind anyone in whose eyes I find favor.” NIV 

Your new man, and/or occupation, do not deserve nor are they responsible for the pain rendered from your last relationship. And guess what? Neither do you.

Be you

I absolutely love being in #love. I'm a natural caretaker, warmth giver, romantic dates, flowers, trips, life building, cuddles, PDA, prayer, (headaches because relationships aren't always hearts and sprinkles... which is one of the reasons why you shouldn't bring your old into your new. Trust me, your new will have distinct problems of its own, there is no need to pile on the past too.), and every other warm and fuzzy gift that may come with being an empath. Empaths like myself are also very wise and with the Holy Spirit guiding us, we rarely let our past, ruin our future. Never let the tragic things that happened in your past, enslave you from sharing who you truly are. Some people leave relationships and carry with them into the next relationship all the hurt, pain, and resentment. Avoid this behavior at all costs. Can you imagine if Ruth carried all her hurt and pain into her new relationships? If she did, she could have missed out on a supportive mother-in-law, and a new relationship with Boaz, but more importantly, she could have missed out on the opportunity to show herself that with God, she is BETTER, and not bitter.

Philippians 1:9-10 This is my prayer for you:
that your love will grow more and more; that you will have knowledge and understanding with your love; that you will see the difference between what is important and what is not and choose what is important; that you will be pure and blameless for the coming of Christ. | Holy Bible: Easy-to-Read Version (ERV)

...if your new man needs your support, give it to him.

New relationships deserve a fresh start

It is not wise to force the new man in your life to pay for all the things your ex did. That person is your ex and in your past for a reason. Leave them there and look forward to being with someone who appreciates your natural, God-given attributes. Despite what may have happened in your past, when the Holy Spirit tells you to, be supportive. Your new man may need support with his career, children, etc., and if your new man needs support, again if the Holy Spirit tells you to, then give it to him.

Don't withhold being you because of your #past.

God's Glory through you, deserves to shine.

Don't dim that light.

Neither of you deserves that.

Be determined to unleash God's Glory. You are a sweet and loving woman, so be a sweet and loving woman for not only yourself, but for him as well. You are a giver; giver of time, energy, funds, etc., then be that for your new man but more importantly, for you as well. You are playful, affectionate, and intelligent, so be that for him and most importantly, for you as well. Don't reserve your beautiful and genuine qualities especially if the Holy Spirit tells you to reveal them. Trust me, this is best. The devil and all his little minions absolutely hate a bounce-back. They abhor better and you being bitter will glorify the devil's kingdom, not God's.

BETTER FUTURE, Not Bitter Past

Learning from the past is a great tool and if your new man, career, friendship, etc., is showing signs of dissipation, then no need to panic and every need to pray. There is a distinct difference between signs and red flags. Signs can be discussed, but #redflags cannot. When you see signs in your new relationship, that can be an opportunity to use your tools in order to help you. But to weaponize your past hurts and pain on your new partner, that is not a tool, that is a nail in a coffin, and it's not okay. A good man will remind you that he is not your ex and a better you will remind yourself that he is not your ex as well. I would be remiss not to say this, but don't rush, do things at God's specific time for you, and don't be afraid to start again. Marriage is not the end game. If anything, the real work begins after all the "I do's".

Here are 5 ways to be a BETTER and not bitter you, in your new relationship:

1. #Love him how you love. Not the way your parents loved or the way your friends love. Even if they were great examples, still love him how God wants you to love.

2. Love him genuinely.

3. Listen to him, please. He needs to be heard the same way you want him to hear you. Therefore, if he asked you to do something then follow through with that or he will feel as though his words/requests don’t matter to you, i.e., disrespected.

4. Be trustworthy. The Bible says if your husband can trust you, then you will greatly enrich his life. Proverbs 31:11

5. Make love to him on a regular and by regular, I’m talking three times a week. Minimum! Corinthians 7:3 says the husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s sexual needs. By the way, you are not going to die if you walk into the lingerie store and find something sexy for you and your husband. You are also not going to die or go to hell if you engage in oral sex or positions that are considered "vulgar". Please each other in and outside the bedroom and for the love of Almighty God, please flirt with the man. Men may not say it but knowing you want them as bad as they want you, turns them on.

For ways 6-33 check out my debut book - "It's Okay, Be The MAN, Just Until He Comes" Chapter 8 "Here's Here Toya, Ummm Now What?" is filled with relationship advice guided by the Holy Spirit.

And if you just experienced a break-up, pre-order my new promise book, "The Pivotal 10 Days After a Break-Up"! With you and the Holy Spirit working as one, you'll be BETTER than fine!


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Hey Ladies, do you know what people think about us? She is a promise of sophistication, a promise of a dream. She colors life with strength that should be envied. She colors life like a dream. She’s a promise of love and a promise of complete and pure serene. She is radiantly colored in love, peace, and intelligence. She is radiantly a dream.

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