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"There's no way she's with you! In fact, her red bottoms scare you."

Wear fine clothes, with a splash of cologne. Ecclesiastes 9:8 (NLT)


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Ladies, please be very careful out here! You would be surprised how many #men want you to gain excessive weight & never dress to impress because of their own insecurities.


Enhancing you is not in the cards,

so they will do what they do best...

diminish you!

In their eyes,

tearing you down is much easier than building you up.


Stay far away from the "men" who don’t care if you dress up or lose weight. Make sure if they don't care, it's for the right reasons because there are some men who come into your life to absolutely ruin you and their evil efforts will slowly start to show in your appearance (i.e. the watered grass everyone can see).


They want you to look unpolished, diminished, gain excessive weight, etc. They are disguising the words, “You look #beautiful just the way you are” so you don’t attract the attention of someone who deserves you and so when, not if, but when the man who doesn't deserve you, steps to you, i.e. a disrespectful man, it will be revealed that your man won't defend you (even if it's just with words) therefore revealing the coward he is. And these types of men will blame you."Your clothes are too tight or why do you have to wear nice clothes everywhere you go? You want attention, so I'm letting these men give it to you!"



Question why they want you to always dress down (to their wardrobe standards), not wear perfume, not drive your luxury car, and/or not wear any makeup. 


So let's talk about it:

  • Some men don’t want you to attract a #better man than them. They know they don't deserve you. In fact, they will say aloud they do deserve you as a desperate attempt to convince themselves of the inevitable - losing you

  • Some men don’t want you to look better than them. Again, making it obvious they don't deserve you

  • Some men don’t want their other women to see you and get jealous because you are apparently snatched. This makes it plainly clear that you’re more than “just a friend” and now he is presented with the possibility of having the various women he is lying to, cut him off

  • Some men know you outshine them even if you put forth the littlest of effort and therefore will do or say anything so they can be the quintessential Mr. Right (a man who looks past the physical in order to disingenuously gain brownie points) in the eyes of their possible new supply

  • Some men don't want their circle of male friends to see you and say, "There's no way she's with you. In fact, her red bottoms scare you! You know you can't be with her. That ain't gonna last." Men nowadays aren't just stopping with the words, "She's out of your league." Some men are saying to their male friends, "Leave her alone. No need to cause pain if you're not ready to man up." And men will say this to other men. It may hurt, but they've known their friend a long time and they know this man is not ready for you (and probably will never be)

  • Some men are just on assignment and came into your life to diminish not only you but who and what you represent, meaning when people see you they say, “Dang, she gained a lotta weight or why does she look like that now?"


His endgame is altering your mindset and he wants you to believe thoughts like, “I’m so far removed from my original self that no one will want me,

so I guess I'll just stay with him.”


But oh no! God will use what the enemy meant for evil for His good.

Thank #God all men aren't like this. I know it can be crazy out here sometimes Ladies. Stay YOU in all #relationships, no matter what! And always stay in constant communication with the Holy Spirit. He knows best and will expose #narcissists and any other people who are against His will, for who they really are!


Can you relate? Want to read more?

Read more in my debut book - It's Okay, Be the MAN, Just Until He Comes, or download the Be The Man Inaugural ejournals.





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